As Promised…

Sep 1, 2010 by

I told you it was coming.  The Sheriff’s Report, at long last, is about to make it’s triumphant return to Growing on Goofy.  It will not disappoint.

5 accidents involving a person hitting a deer, and 1 involving a person swerving to miss a deer and hitting a tree instead.

-8-3 @ 10:53 AM, Havana: Check on the welfare of a man in pickup truck slumped over
-8-3 @ 1:24 PM, Cell Phone: Complaint about tire on the roadway
-8-3 @ 9:33 PM, Rural Havana: Complaint about person burning wire 
As you can see, that was an eventful day in Havana…

-8-4 @ 11:24 PM, Rural Havana: Report a male wearing all black riding a bike on the roadway.  (AHHH!  Not a black male riding a bike!  ALERT! ALERT! SECURITY HAS BEEN BREACHED!  Oh, wait…a male wearing black?  Nevermind.)

-8-5 @ 4:52 PM, Rural Kilbourne: Report 2 dogs running loose and growling at people (isn’t that what dogs do?  Ruh roh, Ruby!)
-8-5 @ 5:19 PM, Manito: Report a strong smell of either meth or plastic burning (I LOVE this one.  “What does it smell like is burning, ma’am?”  “Well, it could be plastic burning…or it could be meth.  I can’t be sure.”  Do they really smell that similar?)
 Now we move on to the real crime of the night…
-8-5 @ 8:46 PM, Menard County: Car “setting” along the road for several hours with the windows rolled down and nobody around (annnnnnnnnnnd?)

-8-6 @ 7:10 PM, Rural Manito: Irrigation spraying on the road.  (What do these morons do when it rains?)
-8-6 @ 8:10 PM, Cell Phone: Intoxicated male laying in the middle of the SR 78. (Never been so drunk THAT sounded like a good idea.)

-8-7 @ 2:33 PM, Rural Manito: Checking on two lawn mowers on the Manito Blacktop (“Yes, ma’am, what is your concern today?” “Well…do you think they know there’s no grass to mow on the chipped rock?”)
-8-7 @ 5:07 PM, Bath, Boat Tavern, public service: see if someone has anything to help with a nosebleed.  (I’d love to be a 911 operator for just one day around here.  WHO calls the sheriff’s department for a nosebleed?  “Officer, we’ve got a report of a runaway…a runaway NOSEBLEED.”  WTF?!)
-8-7 @ 11:42 PM, Bath, Brick Tavern: A “mail” and female will not leave–going to start a fight (What’s behind door number 3?  Another nosebleed!)

-8-8 @ 12:28 PM, Mason City: Criminal damage to vehicle, male beat car with a gun and a hammer (Not at all premeditated, I’m sure.  I always carry a gun AND a hammer, you know, just in case a car gets in my way.)

-8-9 @ 2:32 AM, Havana: Call complained about being run off the road near McDonald’s.  Vehicle headed south towards RT 78 and was stopped.  Person took off on foot. (Dude.  It’s 2:30 in the morning.  Everyone in there is either stoned or been up for 3 days…DO NOT GET IN THE WAY OF THEIR FRIES!)

For whatever reason, there were FIVE women charged with battery this week.  Perhaps they punched someone in the nose and stole their Big Mac?

Also, a Mason County lifetime achievement award goes to the woman from Mason City who was ticketed for: no valid driver’s license, no valid registration, failure to reduce speed, no insurance, leaving the scene and failure to report.

*All information taken from the Mason County Democrat

Related Posts


Share This

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: