Blonde Moment

Nov 16, 2012 by

Ok, I teased it last night and here’s the full story.

Yesterday was my first day out of the house this entire week.  I was still feeling the effects of pneumonia and running errands all over Peoria wasn’t helping.  I made it to the upper level of Bergner’s, to the men’s department, and found myself really out of breath.

I was on a mission to find Adam a navy Polo shirt to wear in Maui.  He already has a blue Polo shirt but it’s baby blue and he simply could not stand the possibility that he might be mistaken for a North Carolina fan.  Let the eye rolling commence.

So there I was, out of breath, in the Bergner’s men’s dept.  Let me add that I NEVER shop for Adam’s clothes at Bergner’s so, in addition to being winded, by the time I found the Ralph Lauren section, I was totally and completely overwhelmed.

After a quick run-through, I found two suitable shirts and headed to the counter.  Bergner’s has the credit card machines that give you a running total of your purchases, rather than just the final amount.  I swiped my card and the clerk informed me that the machine wasn’t reading cards and he’d have to swipe it.  No big deal, I handed him my card and waited to sign.  I looked down at the machine and it says LAUREN, just like that.  All caps, big letters, right across the screen.  I’m staring and staring, frantically wondering how it knows my name.

In 5 seconds I became the biggest conspiracy theorist known to mankind. I wondered if they simply “knew,” I wondered if the “broken” card swiper wasn’t broken after all and maybe it got my name from my initial “failed” swipe.  I stood there, mesmerized, wondering what the hell was going on.

Then it hit me.

Perhaps “LAUREN” across the screen had less to do with some weird customer recognition software and more to do with the Ralph LAUREN Polo shirts I’d just purchased.

Yes, I am that dumb.



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