Christmas, Vacation

Jan 12, 2010 by

Long time, no blog.  Sorry about that.  You see, I was involved with this little thing called Christmas…and it’s sort of all-consuming.  At least this year.

We were scheduled to hit up my parents’ on Christmas Eve, Adam’s parents’ on Christmas Day and my extended relatives in StL on Saturday.  Then, as many of you may have heard, early in the morning on Christmas Eve, my Grandpa had what all signs pointed to as a stroke.  My Dad got the call about 7:15 AM and went straight there, left Mom behind to pack, and by the time Dad arrived shortly before noon, it was chaos. 

Grandpa was not taken to the hospital of his choice.  He was taken to the hospital that my Grandma died in.  Needless to say, that had to be difficult.  The reason he was taken there is that when you’ve had a stroke, the first 3 hours afterwards are the most critical, and this hospital was much closer than his chosen location.  So, so far, we’ve got: bad hospital, bad memories, critical condition.

Dad shows up, and Grandpa has not had any of the “critical” medication for stroke patients.  It’s been almost 5 hours.  Apparently, they have to run all kinds of tests, to see how bad the stroke was, in order to know how much medicine to administer.  In those 5 hours, however, they DID diagnose him as being severely dehydrated…but he still didn’t even have IV fluids.  So, now, we have: bad hospital, bad memories, critical condition, severe dehydration, no medication, no IV, no fluids.  This hospital ROCKS!  You can see why my dad and uncle Jim were on the verge of insanity.

Within the next FIVE days, they finally decided he did have a mild stroke, but did not need blood thinners (which, for those of you who don’t know, is a VERY good thing!), and he was released. 

Amidst all that excitement, we headed over to Adam’s parents’ for Christmas Day festivities.  It was a welcome break from the medical drama. Everyone was on their best Christmas behavior, though one brother was asked to leave the card game due to some intestinal complications after french onion soup.  Apparently, it’s hard to concentrate on straights when it smells like someone has the runs.  đŸ™‚

Then we hit up my aunt and uncle’s for more celebrations.  It’s always great to see my family again, especially around Christmas.  We likely won’t be able to make the commute for much longer, so I try really hard to cherish the time we do have.  Luckily, the only major incident at this Christmas party was that each of the families had the stupid idea to buy glitter wrapping paper.  For those of you who have never experienced this phenomenon (and I pray that you never do), it goes a little something like this:

You: (crusing the aisles at Target/Walmart/Hobby Lobby) “Oh boy, Christmas paper!  I LOVE Christmas paper.  It’s so pret…OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!! They have velvet embossed paper now?  And look over here!! GLITTER PAPER!  Oh, I have to get this.  It will be GORGE under the tree, with the lights shining, oh I can’t stand it, I don’t care if it’s $5 for 20 ft….MUST….HAVE…TODAY!!!”

You 2 weeks later, wrapping the gifts: “Mmmkay, so this might not have been such a great plan.  First of all, the tape won’t stick to the glitter, and as a result there is now half a roll of scotch on here…and it looks like I drank half a BOTTLE of scotch while wrapping.  Just great.  And, in my post-wrapping-paper-orgasm-brain-fog…I didn’t buy any ribbons.  Awesome.  I love wrapping Christmas presents.  Too bad I can only wrap 3 and I run out of paper, because 20 ft. rolls should be illegal.  Good thing I also love my new Dyson, because there is so much glitter in the carpet that my dog looks like she’s been to Studio 54.”

You transporting presents from under the tree to the car, en route to Christmas celebrations state-wide: “This sucks.  Fuck glitter.  I’m never buying this shit again (at least until next year, when the glitter strikes your eye and all memories of scotch tape, vodka tonics and disco doggy magically disappear).  Ever.”

Combine this love fest with 3 families worth of glitter paper and you get the quote of the holiday season, via my cousin Kayla:
“Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.”   Truer words ne’er been spoken. 

After all this, we needed a vacation.  Another day, another blog.

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