Dear Real Housewives, I Miss You.

Aug 17, 2011 by Lauren

I recently posted an article on my personal facebook page entitled Domestic Enemies of the Pregnant Mom written by Kate and Lydia over at Rants From Mommyland, which is rapidly becoming one of my all-time favorite blogs.  This post not only had me laughing my ass off (and trust me, these days, it could use some laughing off…or sawing off…or hacking off with a big lipo wand, whatever), it also garnered a new piece of information: There are people out there who really dislike pregnant women.  Maybe I have been living under a rock (more likely, a giant meth cloud), but I honestly thought pregnant women were, for the most part, as well-liked as the babies they’re creating.  Apparently not.

 

Look, I know that the mood swings, the constant need to find a bathroom LIKEOMGTHISINSTANT, the sudden uncontrollable desire to somehow shove the entire contents of the frozen foods aisle into your mouth simultaneously…those things are probably reaaaaaaaaaally annoying to your significant other and close family members who have to deal with your pregnancy-induced insanity on a regular basis.  I get it.  But for the general public…what’s the issue?

 

Pretty much everyone who reads this blog already knows that, prior to having my own, the idea of having children ranked somewhere under sitting in a bathtub full of battery acid on Life’s List of Fun Things To Do.  But I remember what it was like not having kids, those halcyon days before the smell of something dying formula permeated my existence.  I do.

I remember feeling like I had nothing in common with everyone else at get togethers, because I was the only (female) one who didn’t have kids and I just didn’t GET IT.  I didn’t understand why no one had any interests, hobbies, hell…an episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey, to talk about.  Just their kids.  They probably all thought I was a big aloof bitch, which couldn’t be further from the truth…well, the aloof part at least. 😉  I’ll never forget overhearing two friends talking at a wedding reception several years ago, and one commented to the other “I have no idea what I talked about before I had kids.”  I thought then, and I still do, that that is pathetic.  It’s one thing to devote yourself to raising awesome kids.  But you can’t do that if your kids know your whole life is devoted to them and you have no outside interests.  Kids need to know Mom and Dad have a life.  I know exactly what I talked about before I had kids:  books, TV, travel, food, wine, sports, etc.  The reason I don’t get to talk about those things now is because no one ever asks me about them.  Everyone asks how G is doing, if I’m sleeping, if he’s sleeping, if he’s eating, if I’m eating…but no one asks whether I know that one of the RHOBH husbands just killed himself (I do), if I saw last night’s Cardinals loss (I didn’t) or if I’ve tried any good wine lately (I haven’t).  Of course I have no time for any of those things anyway…except wine.  These days I have EXTRA time for wine.

 

So to all my childless friends, rest assured, I do miss you (and reality tv).  I hope none of you become pregnant lady haters or, worse, new mom haters.  I promise to remember what I talked about before I had kids…if you promise to ask me! 🙂