Enough is Enough (or Sometimes a Bitch Snaps!)

Jun 6, 2012 by

Those of you who’ve read this blog for any length of time know that it’s not a totally infrequent occurrence for me to be asked about my “pregnancy” even though I am not currently pregnant.  It’s something that never ceases to embarrass me, no matter how often it happens.  If you follow my personal Facebook page, then you already know it happened again last Saturday.  For something so mortifying, it’s actually pretty motivating as well.  So, I decided enough is enough, and I wrote the business owner a letter.


Dear Sir or Madam,

My husband and I visited Towerline Speedway last Saturday.  We drive by on a regular basis and were thrilled to see that you were open for business again.  We mentioned to the woman at the cash register that we were very excited to see another small business owner in town and that we would have visited sooner but the weather was simply too hot.  This is where things went rapidly downhill.

The woman at the counter agreed that it had been miserably hot, which “must be difficult since you’re pregnant.”

The problem, Sir or Madam, is that I am most definitely NOT pregnant.

As you can imagine, I was stunned.  If I’m being honest, this is not the first time a stranger has asked about my “pregnancy,” but I can assure you that no matter how many times it happens, it surprises and embarrasses me each and every time.

I understand that your employee was just trying to be courteous and friendly, as it seems that pregnancy becomes a community event and even strangers want to congratulate you and ask questions about your unborn child.   I know this because I gave birth last July…to an 11 pound baby boy.  I’m sure you can understand that this left me with some rather stretched out skin.  Frankly, I’m no Kate Moss.  The thing is, Sir or Madam, I can’t be the first fat, muffin-topped or otherwise overweight person to ever walk through your doors…and I certainly won’t be the last.

Although I understand that your employee was simply attempting to be friendly, she ended up insulting and embarrassing me.  The thing is, the contents, or lack thereof, a woman’s uterus are not appropriate conversation fodder, particularly with complete strangers.  I don’t care if a woman is so pregnant it looks like she’s smuggling more basketballs under her shirt than Michael Jordan ever dunked, it is still inappropriate, and this situation is a perfect example as to why.  You never know.  I have two friends who were asked about their “pregnancies,” one had a large abdominal tumor and one had recently miscarried.  You never know, and you certainly don’t want to find out the hard way.

I wish that I’d had the clear head and heart at the time to say, “I’m not pregnant.  And that feeling of embarrassment you’re feeling right now?  That is exactly why you should never ask someone about their ‘pregnancy’ again.”  Unfortunately, I was mortified and, instead, turned as I walked out the door and said, “By the way, I’m not pregnant.”  I pretty much ran out the door and avoided looking at anyone the rest of the evening.  It ruined the entire mini-golf experience, and I definitely won’t be back.

I am not writing this letter to fish for apologies or a refund.  I don’t think anyone should be fired.  I know that I can’t stop everyone from making stupid and irresponsible comments but, I hope, after reading this letter, that you will consider having a staff meeting for some “sensitivity training” or something of the sort.  I wish you and your business the best of luck.


Lauren Shissler



Hopefully that eliminates at least ONE idiotic and insensitive comment from being made to another overweight or poochy-stomached woman.  Sorry folks, it’s just NOT OK, EVER, to comment on a stranger’s appearance.  Isn’t that kind of Adulthood 101?





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