Girl Code

Oct 14, 2013 by Lauren

After I processed the fact that we are having a daughter this time around, I decided I needed to really get into “girl mode.”  I wasn’t exactly sure how to do that, so I came up with three main ideas.

Idea #1: Find new “girl” crib bedding.

I thought this would be the easiest as I love fabric and, considering how much time I spend shopping for quilt fabric for other people, I have a pretty good idea what’s out there.  Plus, the simple fact that I’m not a first-time-mom (FTM) anymore meant I’d already been through this process once and knew where to look.

Wrong.

The set I had in mind was discontinued.  Not even available on eBay.  Not a good sign.  Everything else was either full of owls, the wrong colors or super freaking expensive. (Hello, Restoration Hardware Kids.  Wow.)

Lest I risk sinking back into negative thought patterns, I decided to move on.

 

Idea #2: Look into girl names.

I used to think finding boy names was hard because boy names are boring.  Let me just tell all of you mothers of boys, girl names are 10x worse.  While it’s true that boy names are somewhat boring, girl names are WHACKADOO!!!!!*  Seriously.

(*I hope I don’t offend anyone with this portion of my post.  I honestly don’t care what anyone else wants to/does name their kids, this is  just my opinion on naming MY child, NOT a judgment of the naming skills of any other parents out there.  Naming is hard and it’s not my place or desire to critique others.)

Whew.  So, as I was saying, I didn’t think my personal naming criteria was that crazy.  Maybe I’m wrong.  You guys tell me.  These are my rules:

1. No top 10 names.

-This is only because my name (Lauren) was extremely popular in the 80s, to the point that I frequently had up to 6 other Laurens/Lauras in my class.  It’s frustrating.

2. Name needs to have very few, preferably zero, alternate spellings.

3. No “regular” names with -lyn or -leigh tacked on the end.

-Apparently, this is the new trend.  Example I heard the other day: Quinnleigh.  Again, not a judgment on anyone who uses or loves that name, it’s just not my style.  I would rather stick with regular Quinn, in that case.

4. No G names.

-Too confusing with G$.

5. No “80s names”

-This is my biggest one.  Maybe it’s just me, but I’m starting to think that when I was born (early 80s) there must have only been about 20-30 girl names in the entire universe.  I guarantee I could name 90% of girls who are currently 28-36 yrs old with about 30 names.  Check the list, see if I’m wrong.

Laura/Lauren/Lindsey

Jennifer

Amanda

Kelly

Sarah

Rachel

Anne/Anna/Annie

Brooke

Julie

Elizabeth/Liz/Lizzie

Erica

Katy/Kathy/Kaitlin/etc.

Caroline/Carrie/Keri

Karen

Bridget

Kristin/Kristina/Kristi/Chrissy

Jill

Melissa

Michelle

Whitney

Alison/Ali

Ashley

Amy

Jamie

Courtney

Brittany

Nicole/Nikki

Megan

Emily

Heather

 

See what I mean?  So now I associate that whole list (plus a few more) with the 80s and they’re all out the window.  So I moved on.

 

Idea #3: Find girl clothes.

If you are in the group that thought my name rules were crazy, this will probably only enforce your opinion. 🙂  I very much do not believe in the whole “blue is for boys, pink is for girls” BS.  G$ has a pink button down and Navan will undoubtedly have a lot of blue hand-me-downs.  So what?  How about everyone can wear WTFever color they want?  Is that so unreasonable?

I don’t hate pink but I do prefer other colors, such as purple.

Since we bought way too many  most of G$’s clothes from Carter’s and Target, I thought I would start my search for girl clothes there.

Mistake.

I went through FOURTEEN PAGES of girl clothes.  Out of those 14 pages, not including Christmas or Thanksgiving outfits (which we won’t use this year anyway), there was ONE purple outfit.  And it had giant owls all over it.  Gag.  Out of 14 pages, guess how many outfits did not feature pink somewhere on the outfit?  ZERO.  I swear.

I mean really, Carter’s?  For people like me who don’t hate pink but would prefer oh, I don’t know, CHOICES, this is a major blow.  Look, I know some of you ladies out there are thinking “Is she crazy?  Girl clothes shopping is so fun!  Look at all the accessories and tutus and shoes!”  Much to my surprise, I don’t hate that stuff either.  But I DO hate not having any other choice than pink.  All I’m saying is would it be so terrible to offer aqua, mint green, coral, purple, navy, something other than pink?

Here’s the other thing that gets under my skin.  I never noticed the animals on G$’s clothes, but boy am I noticing them now.  Boy clothes will feature a giraffe, a penguin, a fox, etc.  The fox might have a scarf if it’s a winter outfit but, mostly, they’re just plain old animals.  On girl clothes, it’s a whole different ball game.  It’s never JUST a fox.  It’s a fox with eyelashes, a hair bow, a tutu and, my personal pet peeve, alllllllllllways accessorized with a creepy ass smile.  Can we not just have gender neutral animals please?  Just a fox?  Just a giraffe?  AHHHHHHH!

Anyway, rant over.

 

If any of you mothers of girls have similar feelings about baby girl clothes where do you shop?  Where do you find cute headbands?  How do you avoid the giant black hole that is girl accessories?  I feel like if I get started on the hair bows and shoes I’ll never stop!  Adam and I welcome all suggestions!