Husbands (Sometimes) Know Best

Nov 10, 2011 by Lauren

Tell me I am not the only one with this issue.

Adam comes home from work and, God bless him, he actually wants to talk to me…but it’s ALWAYS when I’m in the middle of something/when I need 5 more minutes to finish reading people.com checking my email/when my brain is so FRIED from saying nothing but “DAMMIT BELLA!” and “Graham, ewwwwwwwwwww!!!” that I just can’t form articulate sentences.  Poor guy.

Soooo, I end up doing what I feel is easiest/best: pretending to listen.  Adding a few strategically placed “hmm”s and “yeah, I see what you mean”s, while I finish determining whether Justin Bieber is a conceiver and looking for Gap sale coupons.

But, sometimes, in those moments where I’m not exactly listening, Adam delivers important little tidbits that I probably should’ve paid more attention to.  Last night was an excellent example.

I was totally engrossed in Carrie Underwood’s shoes the CMA awards and had a piece of birthday ice cream cake.  I had too many things lying around and, therefore, nowhere to set down the ice cream cake plate.  So I set it on the armrest of the chair.  Adam told me I shouldn’t do that because it would fall over.  I actually did (sort of) hear him, and replied something really intelligent like, yeah whatever, it’s fine.

 

WRONG.

 

It was like something out of a bad horror movie.  Graham started getting pissed off about something, which scared Bella and made her jump up, but she slammed her body into my leg instead, which caused me to jump and the fork/plate/cake to go flying…right into my lap, upside down.  I had pink icing roses all over my crotch, then the dog wants to lick them off, Graham got scared and is crying even harder, I (of course) have no napkins to clean this up, and Adam’s laughing his ass off saying “I told you so!”

 

No more cake on the armrest.