I Don’t Hate My Guts!

Aug 5, 2011 by

The little man is 4 weeks old!  Hard to believe it’s been only 4 weeks since I was getting sliced and diced and my life was about to change forever!


Speaking of getting sliced and diced, I read something recently that really got on my nerves.  Many women have recently been posting on the BabyCenter message boards about their struggle with body issues postpartum.  One poster mentioned a website that seemed like a really good idea.  It’s called The Shape of a Mother.  This site allows anyone to post pictures and a short synopsis of their “problem areas” thanks to pregnancy.  You can even search by “problem area” or type of delivery, if you’re like me and want to look at everyone else’s photos without having to post your own. 


At first, it was pretty intriguing (I searched the c-section category) to see what other people looked like after having the same surgery I did.  But reading the little bios that went with each picture ended up being super depressing.  Almost every single woman who posted in this category referenced her body now being “ruined” due to either stretch marks, scarring or pregnancy in general. 


Am I the only one who doesn’t feel this way?  Listen, I have some issues with my current appearance.  I have stretch marks, I have sagging/hanging skin, I still have fluid in my hands, legs and lower abdomen.  My incision site is infected and leaking pus.  It took weeks for my milk to go away and, guess what, I got an encore performance in that department randomly the other day.  I have to wear granny underwear so it doesn’t rub/settle into my incision.  (And when I say granny underwear, I should mention that these are the FOURTH type of underwear I’ve had to buy since my surgery because every time I thought I had large/high cut enough underwear…they were still too low.  It’s not a pretty picture.)  Oh, and did I mention…I’m still bleeding?  Yeah, so there are some issues there.  There are things I’m not pleased with (ahem…thighs).  But I do NOT feel like my body is ruined, and here is why.


1. These people who are so upset by stretch marks…I have to wonder…did you seriously not have ANY stretch marks BEFORE you got pregnant?  If so, did you somehow miss puberty?  Shoot.  I had plenty of stretch marks to begin with, thank you Captain Morgan college.  No, but seriously…why is it that stretch marks from PREGNANCY mean your body is ruined, but if they’re from puberty, college, weight gain in general…that’s ok?  My Mom told me before I was ever pregnant that my stomach’s stretch marks were worse than the ones she had from both pregnancies combined.  I guess I was well-prepared.


2. People who are upset about their boobs “not being the same”…look, it doesn’t matter if you breastfeed or formula feed, your milk still comes in (in most cases).  Not to mention, being pregnant in general makes your boobs get bigger.  Once again, why is it that PREGNANCY ruins your boobs?  So many women spend their whole lives wishing for a bigger rack, then they get pregnant and suddenly their boobs are ruined?  I don’t get it.  Maybe we should all just be happy that the dark/saucer-sized nipples and weird hairs of late pregnancy eventually shrink/return to normal.


3.  If you had a c-section and are now upset about your scar…did you have a childhood?  Did you ever skin your knee, have a cut or a burn?  Did you leave the house during the first 20 years of your life?  You REALLY didn’t have a SINGLE SCAR?  I know some women end up with a c-section and didn’t plan on it, but what did you think would happen when you had a c-section?  That you would somehow be the one magical case who doesn’t have to push out a baby OR have a scar?  Then I start to wonder why it is that women get tummy tucks every day, which come with a scar ALL THE WAY ACROSS your lower abdomen (in most cases)…but you don’t hear them talking about having a “ruined” body…THAT honor is apparently reserved only for c-section recipients. 


Bottom line:  You (most likely) chose to get pregnant and, if not, you absolutely chose to STAY pregnant.  How did you think the process worked?  You’re going to gain weight. You will have stretch marks and sagging skin.  Babies can only come out one of two ways.  Neither way is pleasant or pain-free.  Both ways end in one of life’s greatest blessings: A BABY!  Can we all move on from our own issues and focus on those precious babies instead?


Stepping down from my soap box now.

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  1. Lauren, I totally agree with you. I LOVE my C scars….reminds me how little they were and that they were a part of me. I nursed for 5 and 8 months and yes, my boobs sag now but that is what push up bras are for. I don’t have baby stretch marks, I have “fat college” stretch marks. I regret not taking care of myself in college and gaining 50lbs, I do NOT regret being pregnant and gaining 70 and 50 pounds for each. I lost it all. I’m not perfect or air brushed. But I am proud of my body and what it did/made. TWO healthy babies.

    I am with ya!

    Now as for your “situations” still…all will go away. (bleeding, milk supply….etc). And I remember that granny underwear!!!! Eventually you’ll be back to a crazy ass sexy thong! 🙂

    I still fight the “c-section shelf” even though I have lost a ton of weight, I still have a bit of shelf on the scars. I’ll be honest, I don’t care.

    So look at Graham and know your body did that. And I think you have your head on straight about the rest!

  2. See, I think that is the healthy attitude to have. I mean, no one is perfect, especially not after having a baby (no matter where they pulled it out from)! I get having some body confidence issues because you have some scars/sags/stretch marks here and there…but to resign yourself to life with a doom & gloom attitude about your “ruined” body…I don’t get it.

    I don’t really care about the shelf, so to speak. It would be nice to see all my “parts” again, but that will come with weight loss, so for now…oh well. And hey, they can always cut the scars and fat out, if nothing else works. 🙂 I was mostly just mystified at the total lack of high-rise underwear. I genuinely thought I’d purchased the highest there was on the market without purchasing LITERAL granny underwear…I was mistaken. It’s not like I was looking for something to come up to my belly button, i mean geez. Oh well. Now Adam can make fun of me AGAIN about why I have to wash all new underwear before I wear them.

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