It’s Been A Week…

Sep 28, 2012 by Lauren

If you follow my personal Facebook page, you already know that I’ve had…extra stress, shall we say, this past week.

*Possible TMI Ahead*

I had my “yearly checkup” at the ob/gyn, which is always a barrel of laughs, but this time was extra delightful as my doctor found a lump in my left breast.  Of course, I’m only 29, so the likelihood that it was anything horrible was very slim.  But, when you have a grandma who passed away at a relatively young age from breast cancer, everyone (including me) gets a little nervous.  So they sent me for an ultrasound.  That informed them that my lump was big enough that a biopsy was needed AND it showed another, smaller, lump next to the original one.  Hooray.  So my insurance paid someone to stick a needle in my boob and pull out some little spaghetti-looking tissue samples (major props to the doctor who let me see them afterwards!).  Now my boob is green from bruising, and I’m not supposed to lift anything over 5 lbs.  Except that it’s harvest and I have a 25 lb 1 year old.  He’s not going to put himself in bed.

The results came in and the lump is benign, thank God!  But, speaking of God, he (apparently) decided that I could handle a little more this week.

So then I got hit by the allergy Mack truck, totally out of nowhere.  My face even got puffy.  No medicine would work.  Except my miracle pill, NyQuil.  24 hours of total hell and the answer was NyQuil?  WTH?  This pill does everything!  Next time I get a stomach cramp, I guess I’ll just remember my special green friend.

And speaking of stomach cramps, yep…it’s that time, and it has been AWFUL.  Like…13 years old and missing school awful.  Enough said.

Oh, but it’s not over yet.  Yesterday, G$ was playing with my water glass.  I knew he was doing it, because he was standing right next to me on the carpet…until he went behind my chair and threw it onto the tile, where it promptly shattered EVERYWHERE.  Have you ever tried looking for glass shards in tan shag carpet?  Well, just in case you haven’t had that luxury, let me tell you…it’s SUPER FUN.

You know what else is totally awesome?  Trying to keep a 14 month old out of the glass shards while you get the cleaning equipment.  And even better than that?  Hearing said 14 month old tromping through the glass (in his shoes, thank God) so you race back (not in your shoes) to pull him out of it and slice open your toe.  Only you don’t know it’s your toe because there is enough blood tracked through the house to raise suspicions that you’re running a butcher shop on the side.  It seriously looked like a crime scene.  I will spare you the pictures.  Now, I’m not one who’s nervous around blood or anything like that, but when I could.not.get.the.bleeding.to.stop, I’ll admit…I got a bit shaky.  Naturally, all this occurs while Adam is in the field dealing with the worst viney corn situation we’ve had in years.  But he had to come home.  I had to sit in one spot in order to avoid getting more blood everywhere, and sitting holding your foot in the air makes it really hard to keep a 1 year old either in your lap or out of the glass shards.  And, let’s not forget, now that there’s blood everywhere, Bird Killer starts wandering over wondering what the fuss is about and what that delicious smell is…

So, Adam came home.  We took a family trip to the Mason County band-aid stand hospital just to find out they wouldn’t do their job glue it, stitch it, nothing.  What they WOULD do is give me a wooden shoe.  What is a wooden shoe, you ask?  It’s basically the top half of a bowling shoe, open toe for extra sex appeal, and the sole is wooden so you can’t bend your foot.  They said if I bent my toe, the skin would pop open and never heal.  Therefore, I’m supposed to wear this beautiful piece of work for the next 5-7 days:

 

That’s right, get jealous.