It’s the most horrible time of the year

Sep 16, 2009 by

Ragweed season.

How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways…

In honor of this oh-so-freaking-special time of year, I give you this article:

I think it was written by Captain Obvious.

Here are my favorite quotes:

“If you can’t breathe, and your nose is running, and your eyes are itchy, and you’re sneezing, and you feel awful and you feel tired, you don’t feel very sexy,” said Dr. Michael S. Benninger, chairman of the Head and Neck Institute at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio and a lead author of a recent study.

–This guy is a GENIUS. I wonder if it’s kind of the same reason Adam finds it hard to feel sexy when he’s holding in a fart. Perhaps I will conduct my OWN research to find out.

“Almost all allergy sufferers feel it impacts their sleep,” Benninger said. “If you can’t breathe, you’re not going to sleep well.”

–They had to interview 700 people to find out it’s hard to sleep when you can’t breathe? Whoever funded this “research project” must be PISSED!

“It can be speculated that the chronic obstruction, runny nose, sneezing and decreased smell may all result in impacting the satisfaction of sexual activity,” researchers wrote in the study.

–What could be hotter than getting sprayed with snot while having sex? These people are crazy!

“If you’re allergic to cats and let’s assume that the bedroom is the most frequent place for intimacy and your cat lays on the pillow, and then you go in at night, and you’re now sneezing — that kind of kills it,” he said.

–That’s it! I don’t need to watch Dr. Phil ever again; this guy’s advice is too good.

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1 Comment

  1. Nikki

    That is pretty good advice. That guys is DEFINITLEY a genius. Whenever my allergies are bad I usually feel like Monika on Friends when she is sick and is trying to show Chandler that she is "not" sick – dressing in lingere. YEAH – RIGHT…

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