Parenting 101
You’d think after almost 7 months I’d have this parent schedule thing down pat. It’s becoming more and more apparent to me that you’d be wrong.
There are some definite upsides to being a SAHM, and I don’t regret choosing this lifestyle. But, with that being said, there are some major downsides too. I’m starting to wish that I was a man.
Men have no problem just doing what they feel needs to be done, without regard to others. Maybe some women can do that as well, but I am not one of them. I don’t have that luxury. If an irrigator needs to be fixed because it won’t stop spraying on the road, Adam can just up and work on it, no matter what’s going on elsewhere…because farming is his job and the irrigator has to be fixed. Now. (And because he has me at home since I don’t have a “job,” so I can make sure the baby is taken care of and dinner doesn’t boil over.)
But since my job isn’t a typical “job,” when something needs to be done right away…sometimes that is just too bad. My job is 24/7 and I simply can’t do it all. Bills may need to be paid, the guest bedroom may be a wreck, but if my 2- or 4-legged housemates are sick or have other ideas about the day’s activities, well, that’s just the way it goes.
Today is a perfect example. I was supposed to be grocery shopping, cleaning and working out. I know, I know, some of you are thinking “rough life,” right? But I didn’t include taking care of the baby and the dog as part of that list of tasks because that’s not a chore, that’s just life. It’s on the list right after breathing. I just do it. ANYWAY, unbeknownst to me, Adam decides he’s going to stay home and work. So sure, I could still have taken G$, gone to the store, come home and cleaned/worked out. But since planting season is on the horizon, selfish me decided to stay home and let G$ (and myself!) have some family time while Adam is still around…since I had no idea he was working.
This resulted in me “not getting things done” today. Ahem. Time for me to start acting like a man, I guess!
Then there are other things. I still can’t figure out how I’m supposed to pack up the baby and all his accessories, take him to the office, organize/clean/pay bills/file last year’s files in the storage area/make new folders for this year’s files/file 2012 crap…and keep G$ from a total meltdown. I refuse to put a pack n play over there because the office is infested with mice. G$ no longer has an infant car seat, so unless the plan is for him to sit quietly and play in his stroller…I just don’t get it. Maybe world peace is a more pressing problem in the “real world,” but in my world peace and quiet is king.
They say timing is everything, but I just can’t seem to find a schedule that works. I don’t want my kid to rule the house, but his schedule is definitely a factor. I want to spend time together as a family, but still get things done. I don’t want to be so focused on Adam’s schedule that I end up paralyzed and get nothing done at all (this is what has been happening.) Maybe all of this is caused by me being selfish, as I mentioned earlier? Nothing in the world makes me happier than spending time together with my husband, son and dog. So I made THAT a priority, and it’s not exactly working for me. I know I’m not alone in loving family time, but other people seem to have family time and get things done. How do you other moms do it? I need help! 🙂
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Start getting a babysitter. Even if you are home! A couple hours without having to tend to the baby works wonders. You will be amazed how much you can get done. Believe me it’s worth the $20!
Thanks for the tip! I might just have to do that. I need to find an additional sitter that is available during the week though, since our regular one is still in school. So if you know anybody, let me know! 🙂
Okay, well, you are officially a Mommy now. And that answer is that you will NEVER find that “balance” between what needs to be done and what HAS to be done and what you want to do. Some things will need to be shelved until G$ is older. Some things will need to be left undone (sorry, but there is only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week…and at some point you have to sleep). And yes, men’s lives DO NOT CHANGE after babies are born. And sadly we, as women, WANT to “do it all” so we cater to their safe and padded self absorbed world. Please don’t let me suggest that men don’t love their families….but they just don’t understand the sacrifices that are made, can adjust to constant changes in schedule and routine and learn how to adapt to them all.
Deep breath. 1) Do what you HAVE to get done….2) Do what you WANT to get done and then IF there is time left over, do what you’d LIKE to get done…..repeat daily!
And you are now completely understood by mother’s everywhere. I won’t lie and tell you it gets easier, but you do learn how to adapt better, faster and “dish back’ the lip and dispense the feelings better too. But a well designed blog is also excellent for venting. LOL
Hang in there honey, becuase the MOST important thing at the end of the day is what you are doing to mold Graham’s life, his world and how you can connect as a family….and it’s really is up to the Mommies out there to do that.
Thanks for all the moral support! 🙂 I try to remember to just BE with G$, whether it means playing, cuddling or just feeding him. I know there will come a day where he will grow up and never remember that I had bills to pay or dinner to cook, but he will remember that I was the kind of mom who would get down on the floor and play with his toys or read him a book. With his size, I better get out in the yard and work on my mad football skillz too. 🙂
I agree, men…they will never get it. Adam and I had a good talk after he came back home and we decided that a babysitter/grandma is going to be a requirement at least one day a month and, like Amanda said, I will probably get more done that day than any other day all month. One good thing is that whe G$ gets a little older, he will want to go work with Adam, or just ride around in the combine, so that will give me some extra time to do the work of a SAHM. 🙂