Role Reversal

Aug 14, 2012 by Lauren

I’m back from Myrtle Beach!

 

My awesome husband thought that it would be nice for me to get some rest and take a break before harvest starts.  Like many other farm wives/moms, for all intents and purposes, I am pretty much a single parent once the combines are upon us.  So, naturally, when Adam came up with this idea, I jumped on it!  We did a total role reversal.  We even switched vehicles.

 

Now that I’m back, I’ve found it really interesting how our perspectives have changed.  Normally, I am the one at home, taking care of Bella and G$, running the errands, paying bills, etc.  Keeping things running.  Adam is usually the one working long hours away from home.  And, I admit, I was not-so-secretly hoping that my being gone would give Adam a true look at what life is really like when you don’t work outside the home.  Maybe he would understand why things aren’t always 100% clean when he gets home, why dinner isn’t always ready as he walks in the door.

 

Now, Adam never picks on me if the house is not totally clean or dinner isn’t on the table right away, but I know he wonders what goes on all day.  And, he has been known to ask stupid innocent questions like “What did you do all day?”  Even though I know he doesn’t mean it as an accusation, I’m a perfectionist and if things aren’t perfect around the house, which is 100% of the time, I still hear it as an accusation.  So even knowing all this, even with my not-so-secret wish that he’d FINALLY understand what I “do all day,” I never considered whether *I* would get a better glimpse at how he feels after being gone all day (or, in my case, a few days).

 

Sure enough, I walk in and it’s like I’ve entered the vortex of hell.  The laundry is still sitting in the laundry basket, unfolded.  Only now it’s been there for 4 days and G$ has gotten into it and strewn half the contents onto the floor in various locations throughout the house.  The dishwasher is full of dirty dishes which have also been accumulating for 4 days (those of you whose kids have used the straw cups for their milk can imagine the stench).  Not to mention the dishes all over the counters and piled up in the sink.  The living room looked like a victim of natural disaster.

 

Now, I’m not picking on my husband.  I know what he was dealing with.  I really know.  It’s hard to get shit done with a one year old around.  By the time he takes a nap, all you want is a little time to yourself, whether it’s to use the bathroom ALONE and in PEACE or just to check your email.  You definitely do not want to be vacuuming and picking up toys.  On top of all that, Adam’s grandma passed away and her funeral just happened to be while I was gone.  So he had to deal with all that on his own, which I feel terrible about.

 

When I walked in the door, was I thinking about ANY of that?  Even though I KNOW, truly KNOW, what it’s like?

 

No.  No, I was not.

 

I was looking around our house in shock.  It’s trashed.  I couldn’t believe it.  I leave for 3 days and this is what happens?  I never expected it to be spotless, or even clean, but I thought maybe ONE thing might get done.  Just the laundry, just the dishes, just the toys being put away.  But no.  Then it dawned on me.  This must be exactly what Adam feels like when he comes home.  Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.   So I just smiled and kept my mouth shut.  Because I DO know what it’s like.

 

I could have done without him reprogramming all the radio stations in the Snobmobile though.  Who does that?!  He had the damn thing for THREE DAYS.  God, I love that man…but that reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally tested my self-control at that moment.  🙂  Do you know how annoying it is to get in your car and be driving happily down the road and suddenly realize that someone f’d up all your controls?  Argh.  Seriously, who does that?

 

As for Adam’s feelings after being in charge of the house, kid, dog and errands for three days?  When we got in bed that night, he said “I’m never leaving you again!  Til Friday.”  🙂

 

Looks like we both needed and RECEIVED some eye opening!