Some secrets are too good to keep

Oct 5, 2009 by

Despite what it may seem, I don’t share every juicy/embarrassing story on this blog.  Some things need to be kept private.  This story was going to be one of them, because I assumed the story was over.  It’s not. 

Saturday night, Adam, some friends and I went to the Sportsman’s Club in Spring Lake.  For whatever reason, Adam decided it was a good night for large draft beers.  (Adam normally gets ridiculously long headaches from draft beer.)  We all had a really great time and headed home around 11. 

At 1 AM, I was awakened by Adam getting out of bed and heading out of the room.  Given past experiences with this type of behavior (New Year’s, anyone?), I stayed awake listening to see where he was going.  I thought maybe he was headed to the bathroom…but he got to the laundry room, turned on the light, and stopped.  I couldn’t hear any more footsteps, so I thought maybe he’d fallen asleep.  By the time I got to the laundry room, he’d opened the front-load washer and was peeing on it.  I freaked out!  I finally dragged him to bed, where he remained for the rest of the night. 

Sunday morning I filled him in, and he bleached the washing machine.  I was still irritated, but moved on.  That is where I thought the story ended.  We’ve all done stupid things when drunk, so I was gonna keep that one off the blog.

This morning, my dirty clothes hamper was overflowing, which explains why I couldn’t find anything to wear besides pajamas.  I decided to head over to the laundry room and assess the situation.  It reeks of pee.  Really, really, really strong pee.  But I saw Adam bleach the areas he’d peed on, so I couldn’t figure it out.  Mice, perhaps?  Either way, the “self-clean” cycle was definitely in order. 

I opened the washer to make sure I wouldn’t ruin anything w/ the self-clean cycle (it uses straight bleach) and immediately started gagging.  Apparently Adam did not pee ON the washing machine, he peed INTO the washing machine, and there were 2 pairs of socks in there, that have been there, with the door shut, for 2 days, soaked in urine.  I got light-headed and couldn’t stop gagging, so I poured some bleach in and ran out of the room.

My mom called while the washer was running, so I didn’t notice that the washer stopped.  When I went to check, it had the F light on, which means the cycle failed.  There was water on the floor, suds on the washer’s drawer, and suds behind the washer.  Uh oh.

After careful inspection, I also noticed the ENTIRE washing machine was full of suds, as if you’d put liquid dish soap in the dishwasher.  Turns out, this is basically EXACTLY what I did.  I was gagging so much from the dirty pee socks that I didn’t pay quite enough attention to the bleach I used.  You see, we have 2 bottles of bleach.  Both are blue, both are clorox, both are similar in size and shape.  In my rush to get out of there, I must’ve grabbed the kind that’s more like detergent w/ a bleach additive, instead of the straight bleach.  Whoops.

Nothing more fun than spending a Monday morning scooping pee suds out of the washing machine. 

How early is too early for straight vodka?

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1 Comment

  1. Nikki

    And this is why I love you…I just smile because of past memories (not as crazy as this) but also because you've found someone just as crazy as you. đŸ™‚

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