Technical Shit Storm

Feb 13, 2013 by Lauren

Holy cow, it’s been too long!

In the last 2 weeks, my computer took a dump on me (and tried to take all my pictures, music, documents…everything, with it).  Many thanks to Google and Ubuntu for helping me find a way to transfer my hard drive (which, of course, was not backed up…AT ALL) to an external hard drive and, therefore, save my life.  Seriously, guys, if your computer ever goes down before you have a chance to back up everything…check out Ubuntu!  It’s completely free and completely amazing.

Since I needed a new computer and windows 8 looks like a major pain in the ass, I had a bit of research to do.  Ultimately, I decided that a touchscreen PC+ a 1.5 year old can only = destruction.  And that is why I joined the dark side and bought a Mac.

I thought that since I used Macs extensively in college it would be no big deal to switch my personal computer.  HA!  Apparently, I’ve now entered the technology “twilight years” and I don’t mean Bella and Edward.  If you ever want to feel like a total moron, I highly suggest switching to a Mac.  It really isn’t that hard…but that’s what makes you feel so dumb.  It’s not that hard.  Until you’re looking for a delete button and realize there’s a button that SAYS delete but is actually backspace and in order to REALLY delete, you have to hit “delete” aka backspace and that pesky “fn” button that no one ever uses (until now).  End button, home button, page up and page down…gone.  For all the mac enthusiasts’ bitching that PCs are worthless junk…let me just say that I’ve grown up on useless junk and I don’t know what to do with this super sleek, super fast, home buttonless thing.

In other words, bear with me guys.  It could be rough around here for a while. 😉

Here’s the other thing.  While nothing was technically WRONG with the Snobmobile, it needed to be replaced.  The car that replaced it (which has been christened “Showboat”) is really awesome and full of touch screen technology…which I cannot figure out to save my life.  In my defense, the car does come with a book explaining how to pair your bluetooth, sync Pandora, etc.  Of course, the dealer fully admits that the instructions in the book are wrong.  Fan-freaking-tastic!  Cause if they can’t figure it out…well, I think you know where I’m going with this. 😉

 

So, to make my technology-induced blog slacking up to you all, I have several posts coming up this week, including more food share posts!  Woohoo!

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No One Can Hear Me Scream: Part 4, Creature Discomforts

May 8, 2012 by Lauren

Where the hell do I live?  Surely this crap is happening to other people, right?

 

(2 questions I find myself asking on a more-frequent-than-I’m-comfortable-with basis)

 

Several years ago, our whole extended family went on vacation together.  We had a great time, but the absolute hands-down highlight of the trip, for me, was my uncle stopping the minivan in the middle of the road to proclaim “LOOK kids!  A DEER!”  I nearly peed myself.  Keep in mind, both our families live on wooded property, which I had to bring up because their excitement was completely genuine.  I mean, hell, living out here (side note: I think “hell” and “out here” are synonymous when you’re referring to the Ridge, but I digress…) in the state forest, if anyone gets that worked up over a deer it’s either A) because they shot it (happy worked up) or B) because they hit it with their car (unhappy worked up).

 

Apparently they don’t see too many animals on their property since a subdivision went up nearby, hence their legitimate excitement over nature. Me, I’ve never been a nature girl.  🙂  Which is why it makes perfect sense that God would provide me a soul mate who is a farmer/ hunter/fishing enthusiast living in a state forest.  God has a sense of humor.

 

Back to my 2 soul-searching questions…”Where the hell do I live?” and “Surely, this crap is happening to other people…right?”

 

It’s not uncommon for me to be on the phone while driving home from Paradise Target and mid-conversation comment, “Oh, there’s a turkey” or “Huh, another couple turkey vultures, I wonder what’s dead this time?”  Last week, I almost hit a coyote on three separate occasions.  Not to mention the coyote Bella chased down so Adam could run outside in his underwear and shoot it.  What was I saying about paradise?  Riiiight.

 

Today has been another perfect example of where my questions come from.  I had a dentist appointment and normally that wouldn’t be much to look forward to but, today, Graham is sick and, apparently, determined to destroy everything in the house (anyone need shattered glass?  Check my bathtub.) including himself (head+coffee table=screaming bloody murder).

 

Needless to say, I was antsy to leave.

 

Adam, of course, was late to watch Graham, so by the time I saw him pulling in the driveway, I had 10 minutes to get to the dentist and we all know that the only thing 10 minutes away around here is MORE CORN.  So I’m sitting in the car, wondering why he is pulling in diagonally behind me.  I jump out of the Snobmobile to find there is a HUGE snake curled up on the driveway, right behind my car.  So, long story short, I was late to the dentist because I had to wait for Adam to kill a snake.  Who else does this shit happen to?  Seriously, I’d like to know!

 

Fellow Dunlapians, remember our former excuse for being late to school?  A train.  Now, it’s always creature-related.

 

I got to the dentist and there were headless remains of a dead bird on the sidewalk.  When I got home, I noticed the snake was no longer in the driveway and Adam informed me that he threw it in a tree, then decided that was a bad idea and threw it in the CRP behind the house, but the dog found it, so he threw it further out.  After that he couldn’t eat lunch because it looked too much like snake guts.

 

I am so done with creatures today.

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