Happy New Year!

Jan 26, 2014 by

Yeah, so I’m a little late on the new year wishes but hey, so what?

At the start of every year, I like to go back and see what I was doing at the start of the previous year.  I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel happy to see what I’ve accomplished in 12 months’ time.  This time last year, I had an ear infection, strep throat and pneumonia.  So I’d say I’m ahead in that department!  🙂

In 2012 we had several great vacations (who’s ready to go back to Maui?!), celebrated hearing G$’s first words, getting his first teeth and keeping him alive for another year.  This year we are celebrating another year of keeping him alive (and probably will celebrate that for many years to come), several equally great but much shorter trips AND adding a new baby to the family.

Princess E arrived January 11th, weighing 9 lbs 14 oz (so much for my dr.’s prediction that she will only be half giant, haha) and she is gorgeous!

Her newborn photo shoot is tomorrow, so stay tuned for pictures! 🙂

 

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Update!

Dec 5, 2013 by

Just wanted to do a quick update and let you all know I haven’t forgotten about you!

 

The countdown to Ms. Navan’s arrival has begun…just over 5.5 weeks to go!  AAAAAAAHHH!

 

There should be a big, photo-filled update coming in the next week with not one but TWO finished quilts, so stay tuned for that (and hopefully a few more projects I will soon be crossing off the old to-do list)!

 

Thanks for your patience.  The third trimester is a biatch.

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Cutest Thing

Oct 22, 2013 by

THE cutest thing happened this morning.

G$ woke up at 5:30 and got in our bed.  (Don’t worry, I’m not so pregnant and delusional that I think early wakeups are cute! :))

We intended to pick him up and put him back in his own bed but he started jabbering and playing.

As soon as he started talking, Navan heard him, woke up, and started rolling around, kicking and punching!  Isn’t that sweet?!  She wanted to play with her big brother!

 

Remind me 3 months from now that I thought it was cute when she woke up in the middle of the night to play. 🙂

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Oct 1, 2013 by

I’ve been thinking about how to write this post for a few weeks now.

 

I never kept my preference for another son a secret.  Now that we’ve announced we are having a little girl in January, some of you may be wondering if I regret so clearly announcing my preference.

 

The answer is no.

 

You see, it’s not that I didn’t WANT a little girl.  I think it would be absolutely ridiculous to purposely conceive, know that there is a 50/50 shot of either gender but then only accept one or the other.  The last thing I want is for our daughter to think she was EVER unwanted or unloved.  That simply is not the case.

 

With that being said, I admit that, initially,  I did not take the news well.  In fact, I took it about as poorly as it can be taken.  Again, not because this little angel was unwanted.  Looking back, I think I went through the 5 stages of grief as if someone had died…because I was so convinced that this baby was another boy, it felt like someone did die…I was mourning the loss of something I only THOUGHT I had, which made it very difficult to be happy and grateful for what we DO have.

 

I am aware that some of you reading this will think I am just another crazy/emotional/hormonal pregnant lady, and I won’t even argue that point with you because you could be right!  🙂  But!  This topic of “gender disappointment” is very real, very important and not spoken about nearly enough.  So if this post helps even one person feel like less of a horrible person, it was worth writing.

 

The 5 stages of grief and how I processed them are as follows:

1. Denial – I honestly could not believe this baby was a girl.  It sounds stupid since, as mentioned, there is obviously a 50/50 shot for either gender and (short of 25k and serious science), no way to ensure one gender or the other.  Doesn’t matter, I was still shocked.  This pregnancy has been strikingly similar in every single way (except carrying lower, which is mostly caused by stretched out muscles anyway) to my pregnancy with G$.  Even the Chinese Gender Predictor said it would be a boy.  How could a mysterious chart found written on an interior wall of a former emperor’s tomb bazillions of years ago possibly be wrong?!

I think we were both in major shock.

 

2. Anger – HOW COULD A CHINESE GENDER PREDICTOR BE WRONG THIS TIME AND RIGHT THE LAST TIME?!?!  No, but seriously, I was mad about that.  Then I was angry at myself for being such an ungrateful bitch.  I have close friends who have miscarried, done IVF and succeeded, done IVF (to their last dime) and failed, been on adoption waiting lists for YEARS to no avail…and here I am, upset that my easily conceived (sorry if that’s a TMI), perfectly healthy little baby is a girl, because some stupid chart said otherwise?  How horrible.

 

3. Bargaining – I admit, I didn’t do much bargaining.  I prayed a lot.  I did try to bargain with God for things I would do if He could help me quit feeling shocked and get on the happy freaking highway.

 

4. Depression – This stage lasted the longest.

I don’t think I can say it enough…though I didn’t realize it at first, I was not actually upset that this baby is a girl.  I have 2 adorable nieces whom I love and cherish; it’s not like I’m a girl-hater (thank goodness, since I am a girl!).

 

First, I felt sad because I thought I failed G$.  See, I only have a sister.  Adam only has brothers.  Both my parents only have same-sex siblings, so I have no immediate point of reference for what it’s like to have only an opposite sex sibling.  All I know is that the bond I have with my sister, that special relationship…no brother could ever compare.  I felt like G$ would be missing out on something really special, and so would Navan.

 

Then I worried that, although I know I have enough room in my heart to love two children, I was deeply afraid that I would not know HOW to love a girl.  Again, maybe this sounds ridiculous considering the fact that I AM a girl, but that’s how I felt.  The only way I can explain is that I have been a mother to a son for two years.  I stay at home with him every day.  He is literally my whole world.  I know his personality, I know his moods, I know exactly how he operates (that is, until he learns how to unlock the sliding doors and I don’t realize it til he has snuck out the back door while I’m in the bathroom…).  My big idea was that (since I was SO SURE this was another boy) Navan would be exactly like G$, and therefore I would know exactly what to do, how to parent him and how to love him.  So when we found out Navan is a girl, I felt completely lost and feared I would not have the first clue what to do with a girl.

 

5. Acceptance – This one took the help of God, a few great friends (you know who you are) and maybe a little wine. 😉

I realized that, first of all, even if Navan had been a boy, it is highly unlikely that he would’ve been exactly like G$.  My sister and I look nothing alike and had quite different personalities growing up.  So, my big idea that I would know exactly what to do was reallllly idiotic.

Also, as everyone loves to tell first-time moms, you really do forget all the bad stuff about pregnancy and newborns.  One of the things I forgot is that I didn’t know what the hell I was doing with G$ when he was born either.  YOU FIGURE IT OUT.  I may never be an expert on hair bows and jellies but I do know that I have an amazing husband and family and, by the grace of God, we will learn together.

And another thing…We did  not fail G$.  It’s simply impossible.  How can we fail when we have given him the great gift of a sibling?  How can we fail at something we couldn’t choose?  How can a blessing also be a failure?  Answer: It can’t.

 

This 5 step process took about 3 days (and a very supportive husband and friends) but, man, once the lightbulb switched on and I finally took the on ramp for Happy Happy Happy Highway, everything turned around.  We could not be more excited to have a little girl!

 

There are a few concerns I still have so, mothers of girls especially, stay tuned for Part 2 later this week.  We need all the help we can get! 🙂

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Gender Reveal Party

Sep 18, 2013 by

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