Jun 24, 2009 by

I am getting ready to leave for Walmart.

When I get there, I think I will just hand over a Benjamin at the door, and bend forward. They can (and always do) take it from there.

WHY can’t I go there without spending $100? We aren’t made of money. It’s not like I enjoy being amongst the Wal-martians (Are they not martians? Besides ridge rats, walmart shoppers are the closest thing to aliens I’ve ever seen)! Not that it takes more than 20 minutes to spend $100 in Super Walmart.

I am going to start chronicling my grand total every time I go to walmart. Maybe by the end of the year I’ll have spent so much they’ll give me a prize. (My very own pet wal-martian, perhaps?)

Here’s the real question. Is it totally necessary to shower before I go? I feel greasy, but I’d fit in with the rest of the wal-martians if I don’t…

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