Cutest Thing

Oct 22, 2013 by

THE cutest thing happened this morning.

G$ woke up at 5:30 and got in our bed.  (Don’t worry, I’m not so pregnant and delusional that I think early wakeups are cute! :))

We intended to pick him up and put him back in his own bed but he started jabbering and playing.

As soon as he started talking, Navan heard him, woke up, and started rolling around, kicking and punching!  Isn’t that sweet?!  She wanted to play with her big brother!


Remind me 3 months from now that I thought it was cute when she woke up in the middle of the night to play. 🙂

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Oct 1, 2013 by

I’ve been thinking about how to write this post for a few weeks now.


I never kept my preference for another son a secret.  Now that we’ve announced we are having a little girl in January, some of you may be wondering if I regret so clearly announcing my preference.


The answer is no.


You see, it’s not that I didn’t WANT a little girl.  I think it would be absolutely ridiculous to purposely conceive, know that there is a 50/50 shot of either gender but then only accept one or the other.  The last thing I want is for our daughter to think she was EVER unwanted or unloved.  That simply is not the case.


With that being said, I admit that, initially,  I did not take the news well.  In fact, I took it about as poorly as it can be taken.  Again, not because this little angel was unwanted.  Looking back, I think I went through the 5 stages of grief as if someone had died…because I was so convinced that this baby was another boy, it felt like someone did die…I was mourning the loss of something I only THOUGHT I had, which made it very difficult to be happy and grateful for what we DO have.


I am aware that some of you reading this will think I am just another crazy/emotional/hormonal pregnant lady, and I won’t even argue that point with you because you could be right!  🙂  But!  This topic of “gender disappointment” is very real, very important and not spoken about nearly enough.  So if this post helps even one person feel like less of a horrible person, it was worth writing.


The 5 stages of grief and how I processed them are as follows:

1. Denial – I honestly could not believe this baby was a girl.  It sounds stupid since, as mentioned, there is obviously a 50/50 shot for either gender and (short of 25k and serious science), no way to ensure one gender or the other.  Doesn’t matter, I was still shocked.  This pregnancy has been strikingly similar in every single way (except carrying lower, which is mostly caused by stretched out muscles anyway) to my pregnancy with G$.  Even the Chinese Gender Predictor said it would be a boy.  How could a mysterious chart found written on an interior wall of a former emperor’s tomb bazillions of years ago possibly be wrong?!

I think we were both in major shock.


2. Anger – HOW COULD A CHINESE GENDER PREDICTOR BE WRONG THIS TIME AND RIGHT THE LAST TIME?!?!  No, but seriously, I was mad about that.  Then I was angry at myself for being such an ungrateful bitch.  I have close friends who have miscarried, done IVF and succeeded, done IVF (to their last dime) and failed, been on adoption waiting lists for YEARS to no avail…and here I am, upset that my easily conceived (sorry if that’s a TMI), perfectly healthy little baby is a girl, because some stupid chart said otherwise?  How horrible.


3. Bargaining – I admit, I didn’t do much bargaining.  I prayed a lot.  I did try to bargain with God for things I would do if He could help me quit feeling shocked and get on the happy freaking highway.


4. Depression – This stage lasted the longest.

I don’t think I can say it enough…though I didn’t realize it at first, I was not actually upset that this baby is a girl.  I have 2 adorable nieces whom I love and cherish; it’s not like I’m a girl-hater (thank goodness, since I am a girl!).


First, I felt sad because I thought I failed G$.  See, I only have a sister.  Adam only has brothers.  Both my parents only have same-sex siblings, so I have no immediate point of reference for what it’s like to have only an opposite sex sibling.  All I know is that the bond I have with my sister, that special relationship…no brother could ever compare.  I felt like G$ would be missing out on something really special, and so would Navan.


Then I worried that, although I know I have enough room in my heart to love two children, I was deeply afraid that I would not know HOW to love a girl.  Again, maybe this sounds ridiculous considering the fact that I AM a girl, but that’s how I felt.  The only way I can explain is that I have been a mother to a son for two years.  I stay at home with him every day.  He is literally my whole world.  I know his personality, I know his moods, I know exactly how he operates (that is, until he learns how to unlock the sliding doors and I don’t realize it til he has snuck out the back door while I’m in the bathroom…).  My big idea was that (since I was SO SURE this was another boy) Navan would be exactly like G$, and therefore I would know exactly what to do, how to parent him and how to love him.  So when we found out Navan is a girl, I felt completely lost and feared I would not have the first clue what to do with a girl.


5. Acceptance – This one took the help of God, a few great friends (you know who you are) and maybe a little wine. 😉

I realized that, first of all, even if Navan had been a boy, it is highly unlikely that he would’ve been exactly like G$.  My sister and I look nothing alike and had quite different personalities growing up.  So, my big idea that I would know exactly what to do was reallllly idiotic.

Also, as everyone loves to tell first-time moms, you really do forget all the bad stuff about pregnancy and newborns.  One of the things I forgot is that I didn’t know what the hell I was doing with G$ when he was born either.  YOU FIGURE IT OUT.  I may never be an expert on hair bows and jellies but I do know that I have an amazing husband and family and, by the grace of God, we will learn together.

And another thing…We did  not fail G$.  It’s simply impossible.  How can we fail when we have given him the great gift of a sibling?  How can we fail at something we couldn’t choose?  How can a blessing also be a failure?  Answer: It can’t.


This 5 step process took about 3 days (and a very supportive husband and friends) but, man, once the lightbulb switched on and I finally took the on ramp for Happy Happy Happy Highway, everything turned around.  We could not be more excited to have a little girl!


There are a few concerns I still have so, mothers of girls especially, stay tuned for Part 2 later this week.  We need all the help we can get! 🙂

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Room Decor, Part 2

Aug 23, 2013 by

Well ladies and gents, it looks like once again I’ve made a mistake.  You put yourself out there…sometimes people like it and sometimes people don’t.  Welcome to the not-so-fun part of blogging.


Yesterday, I wrote about my struggles to find G$ some big boy room decor.  I got completely  a little sidetracked talking about my hatred for owls, but I thought I made my point clear.  Unfortunately, based on several messages I got from concerned friends and family, I was mistaken.


It seems that many of you read my post and thought I was trying to decorate G$’s room like it was for an adult, or to my personal taste only.  First, thank you all very much for your concern.  I appreciate all of you caring enough to message me your thoughts.  So, as a token of appreciation, let me assure you that you are worrying for naught.


Although, as an adult, my taste probably runs a little more “grown up” than “kid-friendly” sometimes, I want to create a comfortable, warm and inviting space for both my kids to live and grow in.  What I hard a hard time accurately portraying yesterday is that, although I may not like certain animals or themes, that isn’t the real issue.


The real issue is this: it’s very easy to find things for a nursery.  Finding things for toddlers is more difficult.  What caused me such trouble is two-fold:

First, most things I’ve found are too cartoony or too grown up.  Not much in between.  Second, I am dealing with a two year old.  What he likes changes every other week.  So it doesn’t make much sense to decorate with, say, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, right now when next month it will be airplanes and hot wheels.

What I am looking for is simple:  Things that are appropriate for a wide age range, fit our general color scheme (blue, gray, white, green, etc.) and make him feel at home.  If anyone out there has helpful tips on decorating toddler boys’ rooms or can point me in the direction of someone who can, please let me know.  I need help! 🙂

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Room Decor is for the Birds

Aug 22, 2013 by

I have had it.


It’s nearly that time…



Pregnant meltdown time.

crazy woman




Today’s Pregnant Pissy Situation (PPS) involves room decor.  Someone shoot me.  Seriously.  Since we moved G$ into his big boy room, we have the nursery basically set up and ready to rock for Navan, other than putting his name on the wall and moving clothes to G$’s room.  But G$’s new room…ugh.  Boring.  Not one thing on the walls.  This is not for a lack of trying, mind you.


But I can’t seem to find anything that is not:

A) babyish

B) cartoony

C) involving any of the following: trains, balls, animals, pirates, skulls

1) Side note…WTF is up with skulls for little boy clothes and decorations?!  You turn 10 and wearing skulls makes you feel like a BAMF, then go for it son.  Let your freak flag fly.  But G$ is two.  I still get to dress him.  And since he’s not joining up with any biker gangs (though his mother may have been accused of gang membership at one point…) or creating a poison (other than in his diaper), I don’t really see how skulls are a necessary part of his personal style.  But I digress.


Now, back to the animal decor problem.  I realize there are trends in decor for babies, just as there are in clothes for adults.  However, the current two things I am seeing EVERYWHERE are monkeys and owls.  Can we just talk about this bizarro world for a minute?


The monkey thing doesn’t bother me too much.  I don’t personally care for them, but I understand that some people find them cute and cuddly.  All I can think of are live monkeys who stink to the heavens and have favorite activities like flinging poop and touching other monkeys’ privates.  Actually, that’s strikingly similar to human boys, so maybe I’ve solved the monkey mystery.


But the owls.  WHAT THE FUCK?!  Seriously, people, work with me here.  Owls are creepy as hell.  They are only awake at night, they stare at you with their big creepo owl eyes and hoot.  All.night.long.  Is this really the example you want to create for a baby?  Ok, I’m kidding a little bit there, but OWLS ARE CREEPY.  This is not debatable.  They are not cute.


My G$ big boy decor search brought me to Etsy today.  I have a friend who had great success decorating her daughter’s nursery with items found on Etsy, so I figured I’d give it a shot since Target, Walmart, Home Goods, Crate and Barrel, Land of Nod and CB2 have already let me down not-so-gently.  This screenshot is what I found when I searched Etsy for “boy room decor:”

Screen Shot 2013-08-22 at 3.45.46 PM

NINE of twelve images are flipping owls, people.  Click to make it larger if you don’t believe me.  Why does “boy room decor” automatically = owls?  Would it kill you to get some simple, modern, able-to-grow-with-you decor, Etsy?  ARGH.

And that, my friends, is your PPS for the day.

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Big Boy :(

Aug 21, 2013 by

It’s been a crazy 24 hours in this household!


Recently, we finished our basement.  Thank the Lord, all the demon spawn toys will FINALLY not only be out of the living room, they will be on a completely different floor.  Yahoo!

(I know all you experienced moms are like, “Yeah that’s really great.  Now you have TWO levels of shit to pick up and clean.  You’re an idiot.”)


This week we’ve been in the process of taking all the stuff we moved out of the basement (to avoid certain death via power drill) and moving it back into the basement.  This is a lot of fun when you’re in your second trimester and on weight restrictions.  No, seriously.  It’s really fun.  Because that means someone else has to do it. 🙂


During this process, we decided to set up G$’s new big boy bed in his new big boy room.  Adam was getting ready to go on a trip and wanted to see G$ in the new bed before he left.








Much to our surprise, he loved it!  He didn’t want to get out.








So we let him stay in the big boy bed.  And he did.  All night!







Mama may or may not have had to go sit in his baby room and cry a little.  I could blame (or not) pregnancy hormones but, the truth is, I felt like I’d missed a huge moment in my now not-so-little boy’s life.  Yes, I was there.  I was physically present.  (Clearly, as I just displayed the photographic evidence.)  But I wasn’t expecting him to actually stay in the bed!


Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not complaining that he was such a champion sleep transitioner.  Not at all.  The problem was…how do I describe it…I wasn’t emotionally prepared, I guess.   I thought I would have a “little boy” just a smidge longer.  It was as if someone snapped their fingers (or made the bed) and *POOF* the little boy was gone and right where he was just a second ago, there was this sweet big boy, trying his hardest to be brave.







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