Technical Shit Storm

Feb 13, 2013 by Lauren

Holy cow, it’s been too long!

In the last 2 weeks, my computer took a dump on me (and tried to take all my pictures, music, documents…everything, with it).  Many thanks to Google and Ubuntu for helping me find a way to transfer my hard drive (which, of course, was not backed up…AT ALL) to an external hard drive and, therefore, save my life.  Seriously, guys, if your computer ever goes down before you have a chance to back up everything…check out Ubuntu!  It’s completely free and completely amazing.

Since I needed a new computer and windows 8 looks like a major pain in the ass, I had a bit of research to do.  Ultimately, I decided that a touchscreen PC+ a 1.5 year old can only = destruction.  And that is why I joined the dark side and bought a Mac.

I thought that since I used Macs extensively in college it would be no big deal to switch my personal computer.  HA!  Apparently, I’ve now entered the technology “twilight years” and I don’t mean Bella and Edward.  If you ever want to feel like a total moron, I highly suggest switching to a Mac.  It really isn’t that hard…but that’s what makes you feel so dumb.  It’s not that hard.  Until you’re looking for a delete button and realize there’s a button that SAYS delete but is actually backspace and in order to REALLY delete, you have to hit “delete” aka backspace and that pesky “fn” button that no one ever uses (until now).  End button, home button, page up and page down…gone.  For all the mac enthusiasts’ bitching that PCs are worthless junk…let me just say that I’ve grown up on useless junk and I don’t know what to do with this super sleek, super fast, home buttonless thing.

In other words, bear with me guys.  It could be rough around here for a while. 😉

Here’s the other thing.  While nothing was technically WRONG with the Snobmobile, it needed to be replaced.  The car that replaced it (which has been christened “Showboat”) is really awesome and full of touch screen technology…which I cannot figure out to save my life.  In my defense, the car does come with a book explaining how to pair your bluetooth, sync Pandora, etc.  Of course, the dealer fully admits that the instructions in the book are wrong.  Fan-freaking-tastic!  Cause if they can’t figure it out…well, I think you know where I’m going with this. 😉

 

So, to make my technology-induced blog slacking up to you all, I have several posts coming up this week, including more food share posts!  Woohoo!

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Role Reversal

Aug 14, 2012 by Lauren

I’m back from Myrtle Beach!

 

My awesome husband thought that it would be nice for me to get some rest and take a break before harvest starts.  Like many other farm wives/moms, for all intents and purposes, I am pretty much a single parent once the combines are upon us.  So, naturally, when Adam came up with this idea, I jumped on it!  We did a total role reversal.  We even switched vehicles.

 

Now that I’m back, I’ve found it really interesting how our perspectives have changed.  Normally, I am the one at home, taking care of Bella and G$, running the errands, paying bills, etc.  Keeping things running.  Adam is usually the one working long hours away from home.  And, I admit, I was not-so-secretly hoping that my being gone would give Adam a true look at what life is really like when you don’t work outside the home.  Maybe he would understand why things aren’t always 100% clean when he gets home, why dinner isn’t always ready as he walks in the door.

 

Now, Adam never picks on me if the house is not totally clean or dinner isn’t on the table right away, but I know he wonders what goes on all day.  And, he has been known to ask stupid innocent questions like “What did you do all day?”  Even though I know he doesn’t mean it as an accusation, I’m a perfectionist and if things aren’t perfect around the house, which is 100% of the time, I still hear it as an accusation.  So even knowing all this, even with my not-so-secret wish that he’d FINALLY understand what I “do all day,” I never considered whether *I* would get a better glimpse at how he feels after being gone all day (or, in my case, a few days).

 

Sure enough, I walk in and it’s like I’ve entered the vortex of hell.  The laundry is still sitting in the laundry basket, unfolded.  Only now it’s been there for 4 days and G$ has gotten into it and strewn half the contents onto the floor in various locations throughout the house.  The dishwasher is full of dirty dishes which have also been accumulating for 4 days (those of you whose kids have used the straw cups for their milk can imagine the stench).  Not to mention the dishes all over the counters and piled up in the sink.  The living room looked like a victim of natural disaster.

 

Now, I’m not picking on my husband.  I know what he was dealing with.  I really know.  It’s hard to get shit done with a one year old around.  By the time he takes a nap, all you want is a little time to yourself, whether it’s to use the bathroom ALONE and in PEACE or just to check your email.  You definitely do not want to be vacuuming and picking up toys.  On top of all that, Adam’s grandma passed away and her funeral just happened to be while I was gone.  So he had to deal with all that on his own, which I feel terrible about.

 

When I walked in the door, was I thinking about ANY of that?  Even though I KNOW, truly KNOW, what it’s like?

 

No.  No, I was not.

 

I was looking around our house in shock.  It’s trashed.  I couldn’t believe it.  I leave for 3 days and this is what happens?  I never expected it to be spotless, or even clean, but I thought maybe ONE thing might get done.  Just the laundry, just the dishes, just the toys being put away.  But no.  Then it dawned on me.  This must be exactly what Adam feels like when he comes home.  Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.   So I just smiled and kept my mouth shut.  Because I DO know what it’s like.

 

I could have done without him reprogramming all the radio stations in the Snobmobile though.  Who does that?!  He had the damn thing for THREE DAYS.  God, I love that man…but that reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally tested my self-control at that moment.  🙂  Do you know how annoying it is to get in your car and be driving happily down the road and suddenly realize that someone f’d up all your controls?  Argh.  Seriously, who does that?

 

As for Adam’s feelings after being in charge of the house, kid, dog and errands for three days?  When we got in bed that night, he said “I’m never leaving you again!  Til Friday.”  🙂

 

Looks like we both needed and RECEIVED some eye opening!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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No One Can Hear Me Scream: Part 4, Creature Discomforts

May 8, 2012 by Lauren

Where the hell do I live?  Surely this crap is happening to other people, right?

 

(2 questions I find myself asking on a more-frequent-than-I’m-comfortable-with basis)

 

Several years ago, our whole extended family went on vacation together.  We had a great time, but the absolute hands-down highlight of the trip, for me, was my uncle stopping the minivan in the middle of the road to proclaim “LOOK kids!  A DEER!”  I nearly peed myself.  Keep in mind, both our families live on wooded property, which I had to bring up because their excitement was completely genuine.  I mean, hell, living out here (side note: I think “hell” and “out here” are synonymous when you’re referring to the Ridge, but I digress…) in the state forest, if anyone gets that worked up over a deer it’s either A) because they shot it (happy worked up) or B) because they hit it with their car (unhappy worked up).

 

Apparently they don’t see too many animals on their property since a subdivision went up nearby, hence their legitimate excitement over nature. Me, I’ve never been a nature girl.  🙂  Which is why it makes perfect sense that God would provide me a soul mate who is a farmer/ hunter/fishing enthusiast living in a state forest.  God has a sense of humor.

 

Back to my 2 soul-searching questions…”Where the hell do I live?” and “Surely, this crap is happening to other people…right?”

 

It’s not uncommon for me to be on the phone while driving home from Paradise Target and mid-conversation comment, “Oh, there’s a turkey” or “Huh, another couple turkey vultures, I wonder what’s dead this time?”  Last week, I almost hit a coyote on three separate occasions.  Not to mention the coyote Bella chased down so Adam could run outside in his underwear and shoot it.  What was I saying about paradise?  Riiiight.

 

Today has been another perfect example of where my questions come from.  I had a dentist appointment and normally that wouldn’t be much to look forward to but, today, Graham is sick and, apparently, determined to destroy everything in the house (anyone need shattered glass?  Check my bathtub.) including himself (head+coffee table=screaming bloody murder).

 

Needless to say, I was antsy to leave.

 

Adam, of course, was late to watch Graham, so by the time I saw him pulling in the driveway, I had 10 minutes to get to the dentist and we all know that the only thing 10 minutes away around here is MORE CORN.  So I’m sitting in the car, wondering why he is pulling in diagonally behind me.  I jump out of the Snobmobile to find there is a HUGE snake curled up on the driveway, right behind my car.  So, long story short, I was late to the dentist because I had to wait for Adam to kill a snake.  Who else does this shit happen to?  Seriously, I’d like to know!

 

Fellow Dunlapians, remember our former excuse for being late to school?  A train.  Now, it’s always creature-related.

 

I got to the dentist and there were headless remains of a dead bird on the sidewalk.  When I got home, I noticed the snake was no longer in the driveway and Adam informed me that he threw it in a tree, then decided that was a bad idea and threw it in the CRP behind the house, but the dog found it, so he threw it further out.  After that he couldn’t eat lunch because it looked too much like snake guts.

 

I am so done with creatures today.

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